An Act of God

Posted on by October 11, 2009

Sept 22 Drove to Katy, Texas

Sept. 23 Houston to Minneapolis to Tokyo to Manila. Looks like 95% of passengers from Minneapolis are Japanese. Some of the flight attendants are Japanese. Announcements in 2 languages. Just realized this is my first trip across the Pacific. Have always gone the other way. Never been to Asia. This is fascinating. Heaven will be like this, and more. Every tribe, every tongue. What a beautiful Bride it will be for the coming King. Left Minneapolis 4 PM Wed. For awhile I thought we were going to drive to Tokyo. Took a long time to get this 2 story bird in the air.

Have you ever looked at the Sky Mall catalogue? Canine Genealogy Kit. Use cotton swab inside your dog’s cheek and send to lab. They tell you what breeds are represented in your mutt. Vital information. $59.95. Indoor Dog Restroom. This mat and tray system gives dogs a place to relieve themselves when they can’t get outside for respite. (That’s an exact quote!) $149.95 Now I might be interested in this one… The Marshmallow Shooter with an LED sight and red light beam for accuracy. Hey, Babe (my wife and bookkeeper) can we spring for $24.95? Oh, never mind, choking hazard. Not for 3 year olds or grandpas. The Pet Ramp and Staircase for older or arthritic pets to climb on your bed without stress to their joints. Also good for their emotional well being; they feel accepted and welcome. (‘Pistol’ sleeps under the house. Knowing his DNA wouldn’t be helpful either.) This is a long flight. Hope y’all don’t get bored.

The Coolaroo Dog Bed keeps your pet cool, comfortable and off the hard dirty ground. Wonder if it would fit under the house? Proving that a Pet Crate can be attractive, this solid pine version doubles as very stylish end table. Here’s another stairway for pets who need help getting on your furniture. But on the same page is a pet gate to keep your dog out of your room. How rude!

I’m starting to feel guilty about all the dogs I’ve had in 57 years who’ve slept outside, got run over, eaten by coyotes, were refused access to the house, were not helped up on the furniture, or had to drink out of the toilet.

Enough of this. I’m reading a chapter daily from Genesis, Joshua, Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Matthew, Acts, Romans and Revelation. Also, a book by Samuel Hopkins, published in 1793, A Treatise on the Millennium, showing from Scripture Prophecy, that it is to come, when it will come, in what it will consist and the events which are to first take place, introductory to it. That’s the title! When we get to the Philippines, there won’t be much time for reading. We’ll start each morning about 5:30.

Passing over SW Canada. –38 degrees F outside at 30,000 ft. They just told us to close our windows. Not because of the cold, silly. Maybe because it’s going to be daylight all ‘night.’ It’s now 1:00 and still daylight. As far as the East is from the West.
Coming into Tokyo. Local time is 5:05 PM. My body is at 3:05 AM. Yesterday. I think.
In airport, I hear an announcement for Flight #1 for Ho Chi Minh City.

Tokyo to Manila, 4 hr flight. Then back one hour. OK, here’s one more…Pet Doorbell, so your dog won’t have to scratch at the front door. $69.95.

Manila 11:00 PM Wed. On the way, Ricky our van driver suddenly, inexplicably got sick, couldn’t breathe. Said it had never happened before. Typical stuff before an evangelistic mission. Recently, Amy Stockwell was rear ended by an uninsured driver, an undocumented alien. David and Amy’s house was struck by lightning. I’ve got a flareup of gout on this trip. One of team members scheduled to go was completely sidelined.

Saturday, Sept. 26 Pastors’ Conference held at ball room of hotel. Great meeting! We really met with God. Started raining, pouring. Found out we were in the middle of a Level 2 typhoon. Severe flooding. Pastors separated from their families and churches.

Sun, Sept. 27 Many churches closed. I preached at a small church that met on the second floor. Street was chest high in water last night. Pastor and wife slept in car. Were wearing Tee shirts we gave out at conference yesterday. Some pastors had to swim home to their families. Schools have now become evacuation centers. May open more opportunities for evangelism. We are scheduled to preach in 100 schools this week.

Mon, Sept 28 Schools cancelled Mon-Tues. Thousands of evacuees. We’re trying to find out about relief possibilities (food, water.) We are pretty well stranded at hotel for today. The tentative plan is to go tomorrow to evacuation centers (schools) and minister, pray, witness, preach. We will work with Operation Blessing to provide food and water. Still raining. Front page of Philippine Daily Inquirer shows hundreds of people wading down the street in chest high, muddy water. Death toll..140.

Tues, Sept. 29 It is still unclear what we are going to be able to do. Filthy conditions in evacuation centers, mud, human feces, no food or water, swine flu, dengue, malaria, diarrhea, leptospirosis, coffins with bloated, decaying corpses, next to sick and injured, lying on concrete floor.

An 18 year old boy saved 30 people, the last, a 6 month old baby, then was swept downstream, exhausted. Drowned. Two brothers, age 10 and 15, found dead, embracing in a mudslide, Mt. Arayat.

Another typhoon may be brewing. It is looking like they may send us home early. Not our choice. We are stranded in the hotel. Professional disaster relief workers and health officials are prepared for dealing with this. We may not be allowed in.

Hotel restaurant, old, fat man, American or European, at breakfast with 20 something Filipina. I see lots of that here. Love has nothing to do with it.
My first, natural impulse is to go to evacuation centers, wade in the filth and disease and love on these precious souls, share the Gospel. I’ve matured enough to know that my first, natural impulse is usually wrong. Joshua 4, if God tells you to cross the Jordan during the time of harvest when it overflows its banks, then obey and you won’t get wet. If you presume to know the will of God and make your own call, you’re just going to get wet and muddy, or worse.

People were hanging from high wires to escape flood. 240 dead, so far.

Just got word we’re coming home in the morning. Going this afternoon to minister to evacuees on the street. Schools cancelled all week.

Preached and ministered in barrio where it had been flooded. Handed out food and clothes. 9 year old girl, real cute, dimples, friendly, but shy. All the other kids shook hands with us (although we were urged not to because of possible infection.) Some would touch my hand to their head, a show of respect. Dimples wouldn’t shake hands, but stayed close to me. Like a thousand times before, I wanted to bring this one home with me. I know my daughter would take her. Terri would too, for that matter. But that’s one off-handed comment you NEVER make. Some little mother might take you up on it, sell her child to you. When Dimples finally came around and extended her hand, I realized her reticence. Her little fingers were just stubs.

Edwin Domingo. I noticed him in the crowd. Shaved head, undershirt, tough guy look, leaning against wall. I waded through the crowd, extended my hand and said, “The Lord told me to give you my Bible (a Gideon NT.)” He lit up. Later, I was able to talk with him. Said he was born again in 1994, but had some tragedy in his life, wife died. We prayed together and he came back to Jesus.

One of the guys on our team is a cop in New Mexico. Used to be on SWAT team. Sometimes they would get orders to storm a certain house, would suit up, lock and load, and then at last minute receive orders to ‘stand down.’ We went to other side of planet, preached and ministered all we could. Storm closed schools and effectively shut us down. Our orders, for the time being, were to stand down. Seems like it should have been a great disappointment. Instead, great peace.

Nothing ever sneaks up on Jesus.

Let’s take a survey. Who do you think sent the worst typhoon in 42 years to the Philippines?

Now, as promised, an exciting announcement.

My long time friend, Evangelist David Stockwell, with whom I’ve gone this year to Zambia, Uganda and the Philippines has asked me to become staff evangelist with his ministry. I’ve accepted joyfully. First, what this does NOT mean. Then, what it means.

It does not mean any salary. I still have to raise all my own money, even more now for more travel.

It does not mean another move.

It does not mean cutting down on my Mexico ministry.

It does not mean any change in Dan Grindstaff Ministries, Inc., or our method of receiving contributions.

What it does mean: Networking and partnering with friends I can trust who have a proven track record in international evangelism (and whom I dearly love.)

Unlimited opportunities to preach before thousands of Gospel hungry and receptive peoples (limited only by finances.)

David’s office will handle travel arrangements, overseas insurance, multiple details.

NEST (National Evangelist Support Team) national evangelists on the ground in several countries who set up schools and other venues for me, follow up thoroughly after I’m gone, make disciples, plant churches, make all local arrangements, etc.

I’ve known David over 30 years. I used to work with him when I was in seminary. I’ve been in 3 countries with him this year. I’ve spent hours with him listening to his heart. This is the real deal. I wouldn’t put my name and reputation on this ministry if I weren’t convinced. Please go to www.davidstockwell.org to read more. Also, there are photos from these last three trips.

David wants to send me several places on my own. I don’t have to wait until he has a team trip scheduled. Also, I can travel a lot cheaper on my own. I don’t have to stay in hotels and do the things necessary with a team. Like I do in Mexico. I’M READY TO GO! If the Lord of the Harvest has you in a place to help me do it, it would be deeply appreciated.

Dan Grindstaff

Revival Yearnings*

Posted on by September 14, 2009

September 14, 2009

Last time, I ended by telling about the salvation and baptism of my grandson, Kyle.  The other day, his older sister Kayla crawled up in the hammock with me and said she was ready to become a Christian.  The Holy Spirit has been dealing with her a long time. We talked for a while and went in the house. Terri suggested we get her Dad on the phone. Jason’s a Fort Worth firefighter and was at work. I told him she was ready and he should lead her to the Lord over the phone. That’s about all I could get out, I was so choked up.  He talked with her and led her in prayer. He was crying. Kyle was bouncing off the walls. He’s been praying that everyone in his family get saved. I baptized her the next Sunday.

I just got back from Tamazunchale, San Luis Potosi, Mexico, my second trip there this summer.  I went to help a team from an East Texas church.  I’ve been with these good folks on a couple of other missions. Their church is becoming what we call a Strategy Coordinator Church. That’s an International Mission Board concept. A local church adopts a region in Mexico (or another country) and takes responsibility for working with local Christians in opening up new areas for Gospel work and church planting. This church is planning four trips to this region next year.  Last week was primarily for officially establishing a working relationship with a couple of local pastors who are already getting it done.  They have started a seminary and nearly 70 missions in those mountains. We had about a dozen folks come to Christ last week.

September 23 – October 5, I’ll be taking my first trip to the Philippines. We’ll be preaching in the schools, just like in Africa. I’ll have the privilege of standing before thousands of high school students and presenting the Gospel.  Please go to my friend David Stockwell’s web site, www.davidstockwell.org for more info and also pictures from our Zambia and Uganda trips. It is crucial to have folks like you praying for us throughout this venture.  Please pray for the anointing of the Holy Spirit, for open doors for the Word, for deep conviction of sin and genuine conversions. Also, for the safety, health and financial provision of the entire team.

Next time:  Report from the Philippines and an exciting announcement.

Dan

*Revival: an extraordinary movement of the Holy Spirit producing extraordinary results.

Yearnings: protracted, insistent and strong desires or cravings, especially in wishing for something lost; longings for the attainment of something unfulfilled.

Revival Yearnings*

Posted on by August 16, 2009

Uganda, July 22- August 4, 2009

Years ago, an evangelist whom I thought highly of, told me with a straight face, “Dan, one requirement for being an effective evangelist is to have an over-inflated ego.” He was serious. Even at a young age, I knew something was wrong with that. I determined to be an evangelist totally devoid of ego. I have certainly not succeeded in that desire. Pride continues to be the root of all my problems, as it is with us all. But I do battle with it. That brother, by the way, is no longer in the ministry.

But preaching to thousands of people who are hungry for the Gospel and deeply appreciate you coming to the other side of the world to tell them about Jesus is an amazingly humbling experience. Who am I to be used in such a way and to be able to experience such unexcelled joy? On the plane from Houston to Amsterdam, I read what George Whitefield, the greatest evangelist since Apostolic times, said. “I was so oppressed with such a sense of my base ingratitude to my dearest Saviour, that Satan would have fain tempted me to hold my tongue, and not invite poor sinners to Jesus Christ, because I was so great a sinner myself. But God enabled me to withstand the temptation; and since Jesus Christ had shown such mercy to me, and did not withdraw His Holy Spirit from me, the chief of sinners, I was enabled the more feelingly to talk of His love.”

I’m reminded of what Adrian Rogers used to say, “You can go out tomorrow and find a better preacher of the Gospel than I, but you’ll never find anyone who can preach a better Gospel.” It is the Gospel that is the power of God unto salvation, not the evangelist, ego not withstanding. There is an extra word in our English versions of Romans 10:14, added for clarity, that really should not be there. “How shall they believe in Him OF whom they have not heard?” ‘Of’ should not be there. Now read it. It is a major change in meaning. How can anyone believe if they have not heard HIM? When the preacher is true to the Word of God, and is a cleansed vessel, it is actually the Lord Jesus preaching through him. That should be the most humbling, and frightening, thought to any preacher. I have been aware at times of that Other Presence while preaching the Gospel.

*Revival: an extraordinary movement of the Holy Spirit producing extraordinary results.
Yearnings: protracted, insistent and strong desires or cravings, especially in wishing for something lost; longings for the attainment of something unfulfilled.

“Dan, think you for coming to Uganda to peach the Word of God and I am saved if you go back you greet for me your family. By Wasswa David” (unedited thank-you note handed to me after a school assembly) What a privilege!

Ramblings from the journey
Left Houston 3:20 PM. Arrived Amsterdam 12:15 (midnight), 7:15 AM Amsterdam time. Couldn’t sleep all night. Now at airport, can’t stay awake. On to Kampala, capitol of Uganda. Total 26 hours in air, airport.

Apollo Kabaale, our coordinator, “Until you have seen Uganda, the source of the Nile, you have not seen the real Africa.” $1 (USD) =2000 shillings.

Met with our N.E.S.T. evangelists (David Stockwell’s National Evangelist Support Team) Spoke on Revival bringing most glory to God, Is. 32:12-20.

Young evangelist, Jeremiah, abandoned by mother at 3 months. Never saw her again until he was 20. Lived naked until he was 14. Father drunk. Step brothers and sisters spoke English. Prayed, “Jesus, You’re going to have to teach me English.” Dream…Jesus came with a new tongue on a plate. Cut out old, put in new. Next day began understanding some. In 6 months was speaking English.

Victorious Life Conference…preached on Regeneration, Holiness, Revival and Hell (closing message.)

Grace, our waitress every day at motel. Very gracious, delighted to serve us. After a couple of days, I walked over and whispered to her, “Grace, do you know the Lord Jesus?” “I used to.” “Well, I’ll be praying for you.” Told her 2 or 3 times the next couple of days, “I’m praying for you. We’ll talk soon.” One night after super, I asked her privately, “Grace, did I understand you to mean you used to be a Christian?” “Yes, something like that.” “Have you strayed away from the Lord?” “Yes, that’s it.” It seems she has been deeply wounded. I brought her a New Testament. She lit up and said, “Thank you, I appreciate it.” “God is going to do something very sweet in your life, Grace. Soon.”

July 26, Sun AM Zion Awakening Church, 7:00AM service. Isaiah 45:8, preached on Revival. Whole church came to front, poured out their hearts to Lord for awakening in Uganda. 10:00AM service, preached on Hell. 6 professions of faith, including a Catholic and a Muslim.
Heard about a Sudanese family, very poor, with 11 children. Some men from Uganda told them they would take 5 of them to Kampala, give them homes, clothing and 3 meals a day. Bought the kids for $5 (USD) a piece. Boys are forced to beg on streets and bring money to owners. Girls(children) are sold as sex slaves. Children are kidnapped here and sacrificed in witchcraft ceremonies. Sometimes, they are thrown live into foundation (fresh cement) of new buildings to ward off evil spirits. Last November was largest number of child sacrifices on record in Kampala. 100.

Huge mosque on mountain downtown, started by Idi Amin, finished by Mohamar Khadafi. Called “Khadafi mosque.” Nearby is birthplace of HIV/AIDS.

Obama family 2009 calendar in every school office. I would ask headmasters, “Now, was Mr. Obama born here in Uganda?” Every one of them would say, “Oh no, he was born in Kenya. Everybody knows that!”

Benny Hinn spoke here at a huge church, 10,000 people. $50 (USD) a head cover charge.

Our team saw 3 different motorcycle wrecks here. One guy ok, one broken leg, one died in Apollo’s arms. Motorcycles everywhere. Serve as taxis. People rush up to ‘help’, then steal wallets, cell phones, sometimes, the bikes.

I have invitations to go to other parts of Zambia and Uganda, to the Congo, Kenya and the Sudan.

Many Muslim kids in these schools. Many have professed Christ. What have we done to them? What are they going to face when they tell their parents? Is it worth it to know Christ? Absolutely! But my heart grieves for the persecution they will inevitably face.

Preached in 10 schools this week.

August 2 Sun AM Stepped out of my room to go preach. Maid, “Oh, are you going to church?” “Yes, I’m going to preach.” “Please, pray for me.” “I will. Are you a Christian?” “No.” “You need to be.” “I want to be.” “Will you be here all day?” “Yes.” “We’ll talk this afternoon.” Her name is Harriett. Preached at Trinity Church. 25 professions of faith.

Saw Harriett as soon as I got back. She was ready. She was number 3,362 for the week. She was worth the trip. Of course.

Got home late Tuesday night. Kyle, my 7 year old grandson was waiting up for me. 1st question, “What did you bring me from Africa?” 2nd question, “Grandpa, did you know that I’m your brother now? I got saved July 20, 2009.” I baptized Kyle the next Sunday morning.

Dan

Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

Posted on by July 1, 2009

Many of you will recognize this as the first words uttered by American journalist, Henry Morton Stanley when he encountered pioneer missionary and explorer David Livingstone in the interior of Africa. Livingstone effectively cut the lifeline of the slave trade and opened the continent to the spread of the Gospel. Today, 150 years later, we are enjoying the fruits of his labor, and, in fact, standing on his shoulders in evangelizing Africa. I have read that, at the current rate, Africa will be Christianized within a couple of decades.

I just got back from Zambia. I was invited by long time friend, Evangelist David Stockwell. He has been traveling to Africa for several years and has a well-established, effective ministry in several countries. David has several national pastor-evangelists he works with and helps support. They are part of a network he calls NEST evangelists (National Evangelist Support Team.) They do the advance work (what I used to do for David 30 years ago,) and follow-up, discipleship and church planting.

I preached the Gospel several times a day in public schools in Lusaka, the capitol. The headmaster (principal) at each school would introduce me and say, ‘Listen to the man of God who is going to preach the Word of God to you. Now, you can’t do that in Iraq, China, or the Land of the Free and Home of the brave! No restrictions. I preached hard, a clear, unwatered down Gospel of the Blood of Christ, repentance, faith, Lordship of Christ, following Him to the death. You need to understand, my theology is very conservative in counting numbers. I’ve seen the abuse of easy believism , a cheap Gospel, and manipulation. Taking all that into consideration, I personally saw nearly 7000 professions of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ! This is a time of Spiritual Harvest in much of Africa.

July 5-15, I’ll be driving into Mexico, going back to Chamula, the most dangerous place in Central America for evangelicals. I’m counting on your intercession. Then, July 22, I’m scheduled to go back to Africa, this time to Uganda. That trip depends on how the Lord provides through His people.

In fact, I’ve been invited to go to Africa regularly (and the Philippines) to preach the Gospel. Each trip varies in cost, of course, but is somewhere in the neighborhood of $3500. We basically need to double the income of Dan Grindstaff Ministries. Please pray with us about that. ‘How can they preach unless they are sent?’ I know that you, our regular contributors are doing all you can. And we are deeply grateful. Perhaps you know others who could help. Maybe there would be some churches that could put us in their budget. If it were just for Terri and me personally, I would be very hesitant to ask. BUT I’VE SEEN WHAT CAN HAPPEN IN A NATION WHERE THEY ARE BEGGING TO HEAR THE GOSPEL, AND THAT EMBOLDENS ME TO SWALLOW PRIDE AND ASK FOR FINANCIAL HELP.

Thank you in advance for anything the Lord leads you to do.

Livingstone said, ‘I have drunk water swarming with insects, thick with mud, putrid from rhinoceros’ urine and buffalo’s dung.’ In Zambia, I stayed in a very nice hotel and ate two meals a day, a breakfast buffet and a late night supper of fish or pork chops. It’s not like that in Mexico and won’t be like that in every part of Africa. Livingstone only saw two souls come to Christ and the slave trade wasn’t decimated until after his death. But he paved the way for an unprecedented harvest.

And I want in on it!

By the way, after preaching all week, we went to Victoria Falls on the Zambezi River, which Livingstone named for Queen Victoria. The name of the town there is Livingstone, Zambia.

Dan

45 Days Without a Bath

Posted on by May 1, 2009

(Or, witnessing all the way to the bottom of Mexico and back)

March 7, 2009
Left home for Port Arthur, Texas. Preached Sunday AM on Rom. 1:16-17. Sun. thru Wed. helped assemble Luke/Acts booklets in Spanish. Wed., 10:00 PM left for Mexico with 4320 Gospels.

March 14-20
Met team from Texas at Guadalajara airport. Went to Western Jalisco. Handed out 600 John/Romans booklets. Ministered at Indian migrant worker camp in Autlan. Outcasts of Mexican society. The first time we went there two or three years ago, a local Mexican girl, Barbara went with us. Not a Christian at the time. Was so impressed with our compassion for these Indians, she has since become a Christian and is now working regularly at the camp.

March 23
ROBBED! Don’t worry, it was in broad daylight and perfectly legal, by the cops. But it was definitely robbery, nonetheless.
Many opportunities to talk to people about Christ on my way to Chiapas. This nation is in great darkness; oh, that they would see a great light! Mexico needs a thundering John Knox. The Roman Catholic Church here is antichrist, keeping the people blind. Finding the Gospel in the RCC is like reading the Bible under water.

March 27
Simojovel, Chiapas. At 10:30 PM, several of us (I was the only gringo) were sitting in front of the church. Benjamin was playing the guitar. Truck stopped. Man got out. I assumed he was a friend. Tried to jerk guitar out of Benjamin’s hands. Drunk. Something about his wife and kids coming to church. Saw me and that really set him off. I think he assumed I was responsible for his family coming to Christ. Wish I was, but can’t claim that honor. Very threatening, pointing at me, beating his chest. Couldn’t understand him, but he wasn’t talking about Christian fellowship. Benjamin stood up and tried to talk with him. I got the distinct impression that if I stood up, the fight would be on. After about twenty minutes, Eufemio, the pastor came up. They knew each other. Took another twenty minutes to settle him down. I stood up and extended my hand. He embraced me, twice.

March 28
Beans and tomatoes for breakfast. Went to Juan Sabines today, 3 hours further up the mountain. People flowing in from all over those high hills. Service went on for three hours. They come a long way and deserve to get their money’s worth. I witnessed to a group of boys who were following me around all day. Don’t know what time it was when we went to bed. Don’t wear a watch in Mexico. Pointless. Slept on outdoor wooden platform.

March 29 (Sunday)
Concert began at daybreak. I was up. Went to sit in my pickup to read my Bible. Couldn’t really hear the music; just felt it. You’d think I’d get used to Mexican music. Tzotzil Indians here. Every time I open the cover on my pickup bed, they want to look in. Just curious. They drank the last of my water this morning. I miss Terri. Don’t ever get used to leaving her.
When a group sings, nobody makes a sound, amen or applause. No vocal response to sermons. But when they pray, do they ever! All at once.
The women are painfully shy. They will grin and duck their heads, hide behind each other when I walk by. The men are very humble, but light up when I speak first. Men seem to know more Spanish than women and children. The kids are shy, but I just mess with them like my grandkids and they warm up to me. Love to have their picture taken and when they see it, they all laugh. Once they like me, I can’t get rid of the little boogers. Like my grandkids.
I was closing speaker of the campaign. Shared my testimony. Then they prayed for me, all in one voice. My first Lord’s Supper in Mexico. Stood and prayed all at once, a symphony, not confusion. Just noticed a dead turkey, hidden behind sacks of corn on side of platform. Wonder if anybody knows. Eufemio is reading a list of names, members in good standing to take Lord’s Supper. If present, they say ‘amen.’ They take this more seriously than we do. Half the crowd stood up. Passed the elements to those standing. I wish you could experience this. I believe it is closed communion, local church only. You may disagree with that, but it’s got to be more Scriptural than giving it to little kids who pitch a fit, just to keep them quiet. More prayer. Those participating remain standing. Scripture. More prayer. I feel a real need to sit here and be quiet in the presence of saints. More prayer. Lost people here have seen and felt the Gospel. Even though it was in Tzotzil, so have I. How can they think of so much to pray? We have books and seminars and can’t pray like this. Taking up the cups, still standing. Almost scary reverence. Song. Beautiful. Wrapped up tray of elements as gently as if wrapping body of Jesus. They don’t seem to show much emotion. I’m trying not to weep.
Going ‘home’ to Simojovel. 13 people in my pickup with luggage and sound equipment. Two hours and 45 minutes. 13 miles.

March 30
Went by myself to Zapatistas compound today. Para military, anti-government group. Want to secede Chiapas and Oaxaca from union. Catholic, liberation theology. Anti- evangelical. Large gate. Lady with mask took my passport to an office of ‘vigilencia.’ Was escorted there by another lady in ski mask. Interrogated. Taken to another building and told to wait outside. Ten minutes later, escorted to what I believed to be commandant’s office. Waited outside for thirty minutes. Finally ushered in. Panel of three men and one woman, all in masks. Asked me questions. Explained my objective. More questions. Finally allowed me to leave 150 Luke/Acts. Couldn’t pass them out. Pray they will get distributed. Don’t feel any more threatened or intimidated than I would have at a Texas police station. Probably don’t have enough sense to be scared!
I’m sick, weak, dizzy, probably altitude. Back in my bunk tonight, a bat is flying overhead. Wish I had paid more attention at the zoo, Stacy. I hope he’s a fruit bat.

March 31
I’m ready for some REAL Mexican food! Maybe Terri will take me to El Fenix when I get back. Went to Maravilla. 15 miles. 2 hours. Excruciatingly hot and humid. Women here seem happier and men more talkative. The man of the house is looking over my shoulder, so I translate that last sentence. He translated it into Tzotzil so the ladies could understand. They all covered their mouths and laughed. Then he wanted me to take pictures. They love to see themselves. After taking the pictures, I realized one of them was nursing a baby. I don’t think about that any more than they do. I’ll try to remember not to put that one on the website. A little boy just came and stood by the outdoor water faucet and urinated. I had already washed up. A lady walked over and stood in front of him. Didn’t try to stop him.
It’s real dark up here. Waiting for the service. I never know if I’m preaching til the last minute. Tzotzil is a ‘sing-songy’ dialect; seems like every fourth word ends in ‘teek.’ A lot of their songs are old Baptist hymns, but it’s hard to remember the English when they’re singing. OK, that one’s Onward Christian Soldiers. Slept in hammock in church.

April 1
We’re going to Ixtapa this morning. It is probably a blessing that many years ago I was a typically dirty little boy who had to be frequently reminded to change various articles of clothing every day or so. Here, though I have the desire, alas, I do not always have the opportunity or the wherewithal to comply with my Mom’s exhortations. It is good, I suppose, that I have the strength of character from my youth to fall back on.
When you haven’t had a Pepsi in a long, long time, it’s almost like getting saved all over again!
I just realized I seldom hear the same song twice in church and they know them all by heart. Little kids really belt them out!
I found a tick between my fingers and one on my head during church. Now I’m imagining them in every unimaginable place.
After service, 14 of us went visiting. Remember, at this point, I’m the only gringo. House with dirt floor built on side of hill. Extreme poverty. 3 grown sisters, 5 kids, old man and woman, Manuel and Rosario. They might come up to my armpit. 2 rooms, beds on sticks. Carmelino and his group sang. Eufemio preached. They helped the old couple out into the middle of floor. He sat on homemade chair, preschool size. She stood behind him. He wept, tears dropping to dirt between gnarled toes and worn sandals. She moved her lips in silent prayer. More singing. A sanctuary of the Holy Spirit!
Another visit. 9:00 PM. Sick people, dirt poor. Spent much on doctors, no help.

April 2
I love Mexico. More importantly, I love Mexicans. One of the most clearly answered prayers I’ve ever experienced was 5 years ago when I started this ministry. “Lord, give me a love for the Mexican people,Your love, so real that they can sense it.”
Before visiting this morning, we gathered in a circle in the little shack they call a church building to read Bible, pray, each one of us lead in a song. Very simple, moving. I wish I could explain this to you. I wish you could be here. This is what Paul did, encouraging churches he had planted. Most gringos want to come build buildings; these folks are building the church.
15 (including one baby) went visiting together, to one house. Imagine that in the states! Just walked in like we were welcome. We were. Old man and wife, young man, 2 ladies with babies. One baby and old man sick. John 17:1-10. Prayer, singing, then most beautiful instrumental of Sweet Hour of Prayer I’ve ever heard. This poor family fed us, chicken soup with chayote and rice. I doubt they eat like this every day, but they feed guests well, even 15 people. Que Lindo es Mi Cristo, my all-time favorite song in any language, roughly translated, How Pretty is My Jesus.
Back to house we visited last night. Sick lady we prayed for is better. Nobody seems surprised. Read Psalms, always lots of Psalms read responsively. Prayer. Old lady wept, prayed and rejoiced. I peeked.
One of my buddies, Daniel noticed me just now writing everything down. I explained that Christians in the US pay my expenses and I want to remember stuff to communicate to them. Said I don’t really have any money of my own. He said, “In Mexico there is a saying, ‘If the Lord will keep the evangelist humble, the Church will keep him poor!'” He said it, I didn’t. I didn’t get into this ‘business’ for the money anyway.
Outhouse smells are stunning, would choke a buzzard. Hold your shirt over your mouth and nose with one hand and then don’t breathe til you’re outside, at least 15 feet away. But bad smells elicit pleasant memories of simpler days.
These mountain cows are tough, on the hillside and in the soup bowl. Patricio, the pastor at Ixtapa tried to give me an envelope, presumably the offering tonight. I refused. I never take any money here.

April 3
Fish for breakfast, eyes and all. Went to Huitchipan. I preached here last November. I just noticed lady of house wash out the garafon (water jug supposedly filled with purified drinking water) in the open tank and fill it up with water hose. I always pray, ‘Lord, bless this food and protect me from it.’
The Grandpa in me attracts little kids. They want to play ‘Como se dice en ingles?’ (How do you say this in English?) and then bombard me with words. Unless they are pointing at something-shoe, tree, etc., I can’t understand their Spanish. But then, I can’t understand my own grandkids either.

April 5
Back ‘home’ in Simojovel. I preached at main church, Psalm 91:1-4, Intimacy with Christ. Actually went well. Preached to Christians. Drenched in sweat.

April 6
Terri called. Said she was freezing, had the heat on. I didn’t think that was funny.
Drove to Bochil to find ATM. Bought some unidentifiable chicken parts at roadside grill. Didn’t buy chicken feet; I’ve seen where they walk. Turns out what I got was chicken necks. Hard to eat while driving curvaceous mountain road. Not bad taste. Good enough for my Grandma Mae. She always said she liked the neck and back the best. I think she just said that to let us have the good stuff. Don’t make grandmas like they used to. Sorry, Babe.
Went to Ribera. Way up extreme roads. Truck taking a beating down here. Mexicans call my truck ‘Macho,’ a nickname for a mule. Very poor village. Pastor Pedro sick. Asked me to pray for him. Read Psalm 91:1-3, 103:1-4 and Romans 8:28. Poor folks, all they can afford is Jesus. They don’t know any better than to just take the Bible at face value and trust the Lord. Glad they aren’t as educated as we are and can explain away the promises of God. William Grimshaw said ‘For God to deny His promises, He would have to lay aside His divinity and un-God Himself!’

April 7
Eufemio’s lamb died today. I saw her this morning; she was fine. They said it was snakebite. Nauyaca , very poisonous snake found only here in Chiapas and in Oaxaca, a neighboring state and in Guatemala.

April 8
Went to Chiquin Shulum. The roughest, steepest, rockiest, bouncingest, crawling climb so far. Jungle on top of mountain. Expect to see Tarzan, Sasquatch, Chupacabra, or at least, Juan Valdez around next corner. Every bolt, nut and gasket shook loose. That’s just in me, not talking about my truck. The old preachers would say we’re 40 miles beyond the Great Commission. They didn’t mean that anymore than I do. They don’t speak Spanish here.
These are some of the cutest little Indian kids. It doesn’t last long though. Women seem sad, may just be tired. Look old, but still nursing babies. Reminds me of a book about pioneer Wyoming, Hell on Horses and Women.
Chicken and rice and potato soup, again. I skipped the posol, a corn squeezins drink. The women squeeze it with their hands. I’ll pass. Pastor asked me at supper how long since I’ve seen my wife. One month. They were impressed. He said, jokingly, ‘Yeah, but he’s an evangelist!’ I said, ‘Si, pero soy hombre, tambien.’ (Yeah, but I’m a man, too.) They all fell apart laughing. It was funnier than I intended. I told Daniel I’m going to pray for an ugly wife for him so he wouldn’t mind travelling and preaching. It’s hard for me to leave home.

April 9
Baptism in river.

April 10
I’ve been wanting to go to Chamula. Have been since I heard about it last time I was here. They still persecute Christians (evangelicals.) They’re Catholics, but ‘Tradicionalistas’, mixed with Indian religion and traditions, withcraft, animism (spirits in everything.) Can be arrested or killed for handing out tracts or Gospels or for preaching. There is a video on the internet someone took secretly on their cell phone inside the Chamula ‘church.’ Candles all over the floor, so called ‘exorcism’ taking place. Talk about Satan casting out Satan! In 1994 a pastor was hung there. A couple of years ago, a young man, just married, was tortured and beaten by mob, rope tied around his neck and jerked around until choked to death. My Mexican brothers don’t want me to go. These people are not the enemy. They are POWs. God is going to call out the called among them. I’m just going there to pray for now. The pastor said don’t even carry a Bible or a tract in my truck.
Benjamin and Daniel, against my wishes, insisted on going with me. I don’t want to expose them to danger. I may be wrong, but I think a gringo might be safer than Mexican Christians. I promised we wouldn’t do anything but walk and pray.
Today is Friday, of Semana Santa (‘Holy Week’), Good Friday. There are thousands of people in Chamula. Took pictures in front of ‘church’ until stopped by officials with nightsticks. I get the distinct impression that to preach or hand out Gospels would incite a riot, like a match to gasoline. Effigy of Judas hanging from belltower. Hundreds of candles in front of church. Official came over and slapped Daniel on arm and told him we couldn’t take pictures in front of church. Only incident. Witnessed to boys ‘guarding’ my pickup.
Back at Simojovel. 5 minutes notice to preach. Matthew 27. In English, anytime, in Spanish, very stressful. In season and out.

April 12 Easter
Evangelicals don’t do Easter here. Probably an overreaction to Catholic excesses. For them, Semana Santa is a drunken orgy. Slept in pickup bed. Did I say ‘slept?’ Why do they call that a ‘bed?’ Soaked with dew. My buddy, Eugenio, mentally challenged, speech impediment, listening to music on earphones (which no one else could hear), started ‘singing’ loudly at 4:00AM. I got in the cab of my truck with my earphones listening to a Duncan Campbell sermon on the Lewis Revival. Eugenio climbs into back of my truck to continue his concert.
Had 3 small, wrinkled oranges. After eating half of first orange, noticed worms crawling amongst peels. Abandoned orange #1. Ate the other two, no signs of life. NOTE: I only saw WHOLE worms on ground, no squirming halves. That would be somewhat discouraging. Did brush my teeth again, though. Now, what did I do with that floss? Later, sardine soup. Trust the worms enjoy it.

April 13
Picked up second team, folks from FBC, Quitman, Texas. Good to hear English, if you call East Texas English!
This week we handed out 2320 Luke/Acts. Good people from Texas. Their church has adopted this region since they were here with me last November. They’ll be coming here regularly.
We went from Simojovel to San Cristobal. Had to pass through Chamula, the place of persecution. They wanted to see it. My truck was loaded down with luggage and Gospels. I waited by truck while they walked around town and took pictures. Two boys wanted to shine my boots. Old man walked up and said something I couldn’t understand. Maybe wanted money. We were parked by that church with the hanging Judas. I asked if that was his church. It was, of course. I asked him how he received forgiveness of sin in his church. Typical answer, confess to priest, do good works, etc. I didn’t say anything else. I was responsible for the safety of the team who were out shopping. Remember, they still kill Christians here. After a brief pause, the old man looked me in the eye and asked, ‘Do you have a Bible for me?’
What could I do? I was sitting on the tailgate of ‘Macho’, leaning back against a box of Gospels. I said, ‘Yes, Sir, I sure do.’ He took it in his hand as gently as if I were handing him a crystal music box, kissed it, held it to his heart, and turned and walked away. I figure I might as well give the boys Gospels and witnessed to them. The group came back about then. I told them the get in the truck, we have to get out of here right now. One of the men kept saying the atmosphere there was evil and threatening.
The rest of trip was routine, taking the team back to airport, taking two days to drive from the very bottom of Mexico back home. Home is wherever my wife is.
5863 miles roundtrip. 45 days without a bath. They have showers.

This is a not for profit evangelistic association dependant upon the grace of God and the generosity of His people for support.

“Lord, You destroy the hope of man!” (Job)

Posted on by April 7, 2009
(Part IV in a four-part series on depression)

I heard recently that the FDA has approved a new depressant (not "anti") for those who are incessantly, annoyingly cheerful. It has been tested successfully on hundreds of real estate agents and kindergarten teachers!! But for many of you, annoying cheerfulness is not a problem you deal with. For you, life is not a TV drama where everything is resolved in one hour minus commercials.

As silly as the observation may seem, Job did not have the advantage of having read the book of Job. He didn’t know about the council of Heaven and God’s conversation with Satan. He didn’t know the "purpose" of it all. Would it have mattered if he did? Not much. All Job could see was the tangled bottom side of the tapestry of his own torn life.

JUST BECAUSE IT’S IN THE BIBLE DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE!

Satan speaks in the Bible and he is the father of falsehoods. It is true that he speaks and the Bible is true in quoting him accurately. But he is a liar.

We must exercise caution in quoting the book of Job to prove a doctrinal point. Job’s friends’ counsel was mixed. They were wrong in what they said; their attitude was haughty. Occasionally, they said something that was technically true, but in the wrong spirit. Job himself was sometimes wrong, sometimes right in what he said. But when Job cries out of the anguish of his heart, feeling that God had forsaken him, whether he was right or wrong in what he affirmed, he was honest in how he actually felt.

As a mountain falls and crumbles away, and as a rock is

moved from its place; as water wears away stones, and as

torrents wash away the soil of the earth; so You destroy

the hope of man. Job 14:18-19

Let me state this principle as plainly and painlessly as I know how. God is absolutely, unquestionably sovereign. In His sovereignty, He sometimes causes or allows (who can possibly know which, and what difference does it make?) things to happen in our lives we cannot begin to understand and He, for the most part, does not bother to answer why. One of those things is an inexplicable sense of desertion, a period, sometimes extended, of withdrawal from and silence toward a true child of His for no apparent reason. Everything may be right in your relationship with the Father. You may truly be walking in the Spirit, enjoying sweet intimacy with the Lord Jesus. You are witnessing, praying, in the Word, experiencing the joy of His salvation. Then, either suddenly or gradually, He’s gone!

What did you do wrong? Maybe, nothing. You are experiencing Spiritual Depression (also known as Desertion) at God’s sovereign choice. "Well, MY GOD would never do something like that!" or "MY BIBLE doesn’t say that!" Careful. Please be very cautious in declaring something false just because you have not experienced it. Yet. Do not become one of Job’s "friends."

I said no apparent reason, meaning desertion is baffling only to us. Of course, God does nothing without reason. Let me repeat a couple of statements. The question of God’s love for you was settled once and for all at the Cross. And, everything that happens occurs for God’s glory and for your good. You can trust a God like that.

But why would God desert us for a time? The first and right answer is, "I don’t really know." We only know what God has chosen to reveal to us and there may be as many reasons as there are Christians who have experienced Spiritual Depression. So let’s not try to guess too much about why God is sometimes silent. After all, you don’t even know what I’m thinking unless I tell you. And I’m not all that deep.

Let me just propose one possibility before I wrap up this brief series on Depression and Spiritual Depression. I’m quite aware that I’ve stirred up a lot of questions and not provided many answers. Folks, that’s real life. My favorite theologian, Hank the Cowdog says, "Ma used to say that back there at the beginning of time, God created a thousand questions and only 250 answers. So, there you are!" My purpose has been to urge you to put the truth of your own pain and confusion on the table and admit to yourself, to others and to the Lord that it’s there and that you want some help.

One possible reason for desertion is that it is a test, just a test. We must learn to walk by faith and not by feelings. The mountaintops are spiritually fun, but stuff grows in the valley. Will you continue to seek the Father’s face when you can’t even see His hand?

He loves you enough to be silent for a season.

Never give up,

Dan

I’ll be in the interior of Mexico and out of touch for most of March and April.

WHY? (Part III in a four-part series on depression)

Posted on by March 25, 2009

Have you ever had the sensation that you were drowning? Do you actually have to work at just breathing? Is it physical or emotional? If your answer is ‘Yes, both,’ perhaps you are intimately acquainted with depression. You can’t really explain it to anyone else, can you? Let me quote someone who sent a note in response to my first article on the subject.

I sometimes feel that Depression can be the glass wall between you and God –and you finding a healthy church home relationship (if that is possible.) If you are in the murky pool of depression whether it be chemical or situational, the abstract concept that life will be only better after you’re dead, or you will live for eternity with a God that doesn’t seem very concerned about your here and now, is sometimes too painful a concept to deal with.

Add to that mix the concept that God Himself has abandoned you and the pain is unthinkable.

Does God ever actually, finally and ultimately forsake one who is truly His child, born of His Spirit, chosen, redeemed, adopted and accepted in the Beloved? I have often told the Lord that even after nearly 47 years of being in Christ, as sinful as I still am, as corrupt as my heart remains, as full of pride, He would, even now, be just to kill me and send me to hell, EXCEPT for the everlasting fact that my sins were transferred to Christ’s account on the Cross and His righteousness transferred to my account!! God cannot lie! “I have no other argument; I have no other plea: it is ENOUGH that Jesus died, and that He died for…ME!” I don’t care what my heart says. It is deceitful and desperately wicked. I don’t care what the Slanderer says. Jesus has called him a liar.

Dear, so very dear to God; dearer I could not be.

For in the Person of His Son, I’m just as dear as He.

Jesus, carrying my trash in His bosom, cried, “My God! My God! Why have You forsaken Me?” Listen to me: BECAUSE HE WAS, I CANNOT BE FORSAKEN!

But, sometimes He chooses to be silent in our experience. He seems to be a Universe away. Or, nonexistent. We know better, theologically. But we cannot deny the reality of our experience. Perhaps reality is the wrong word. But every fiber of our being screams, “Reality! He’s gone! He has left me.”

Sometimes we know why He has appeared to, well, disappear; sometimes we don’t. If we know we have grieved the Holy Spirit, we understand that we have quenched the fire of His Presence experientially. We can accept His discipline, the chastisement of silence. And we can confess our specific sin, when that is the case, and anticipate the restoration of the joy of His salvation, joy inexpressible and full of glory. Now remember, God is not a machine, He is a Person. We are cultivating a personal relationship. That’s not just a matter of saying all the right words; it’s a heart thing. Time is involved. Confession must be immediate. Forgiveness is promised. But relationships are dynamic, not automatic. But the Father wants our fellowship more than we want His. Restoration will come, if sin is the cause and is dealt with.

But that’s not always the reason for the sense of ‘desertion.’ A physician of the soul must start with helping you examine yourselves to be sure Christ is in you and you in Him. He must help you face any unresolved guilt. But what if that doesn’t fix it? Let’s assume the Holy Spirit, through His Word, has given you assurance of your salvation, and has not convicted you of any unconfessed sin, even though you have sincerely asked Him to search your heart. He is quite capable of doing that, you realize. Have you considered the possibility that you are free at the moment of any unconfessed sin? “So what is it? What’s wrong with me?”

You’d better sit down for this one. It could be demonic. “But I’m a Christian!” All the more reason to consider the possibility. Don’t swallow the “If I don’t bother the devil, he won’t bother me” lie. I trust you don’t put any confidence in what I call the Baptist monkeys, ‘Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil.’ Sometimes, the Holy Spirit seems absent because the demonic is so tangibly present.

Two decades ago, at a Texas Baptist Evangelists’ retreat, a brother shared a stunning testimony. He had been pastor of a very large church in Texas. He had a doctorate from Southwestern Seminary. He was a brilliant man. They say he wrote out his sermon in full manuscript but didn’t carry a note in the pulpit; he would look just over the heads of the congregation and “see” his sermon word for word. But he suffered from depression. He left his church and became an “evangelist,” that is, he traveled full time and preached all over the Southern Baptist Convention. He was scheduled 50 weeks a year. This brother shared his experience with us, although at the time it seemed a little too clinical to me. He seemed to keep his heart somewhat covered, and remained professional. He spoke of his experiences with psychiatrists and medicines and was enthusiastic about the benefits of ECT, shock therapy. It had all worked together to ‘save’ him, so it seemed.

Rick Scarborough was president of the Conference of Texas Baptist Evangelists at the time. After this brother spoke, Rick got up and expressed his appreciation and our compassion to him. Then, very graciously, Rick suggested, to all of us, the possibility of another source to consider for deep emotional problems, demons. You’ve got to realize that two decades ago, preachers didn’t talk much about psychiatrists or admit to needing counseling. After all, people came to us for help; we didn’t go to someone else. (Some of us still don’t.) And another thing Baptists didn’t talk about was the demonic. We’d preach about the devil and Satanism; that makes sensational “revival” preaching. But to speak of demons made it a little to close too home. You see, there is only one Satan, and unless a preacher had an overinflated ego, most didn’t really think he was important enough to actually be attacked by the Dragon himself. Billy Graham, sure, but not me!

But there are a lot of demons; plenty to go around. And we didn’t really want to stir up a hornets’ nest or to admit we could be infested. Deliberate ignorance doesn’t make them go away.

Later that year, the brother who shared his experience with us at the retreat, drove out in the West Texas countryside with a shotgun and ended his life on this earth.

POSSIBILITIES

When you are depressed, you should get with a physician of the soul. Allow him to help you through the steps of self-examination: make sure you actually do have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Make sure you are not harboring any unresolved guilt.

But don’t get morbid in your introspection. The Holy Spirit convicts us of real sin; He doesn’t condemn us with a vague sense of guilt.

See a doctor. It may be something physiological. When I use the term, ‘physician of the soul,’ I mean your pastor.

But a doctor can’t give you a pill for spiritual issues. It’s not an either/or deal. Do both.

Ask your pastor to help you or get you some help in the area of being attacked spiritually.

These are some possibilities of the causes of depression, clinical or spiritual. It is often difficult to determine which is which. It can be both monsters under the same bed.

HOWEVER

Suppose all the above have been dealt with or eliminated, and still you feel deserted.

Next time we’ll address the possibility that your sense of abandonment is actually the sovereign choice of your Heavenly Father. For the moment, keep the truth in your heart that everything He does is for His glory and our ultimate good.

Your fellow pilgrim,

Dan

PS Self-murder is never a viable option. Never.

A Different Animal: Spiritual Depression (Part II in a four-part series on depression)

Posted on by March 9, 2009

The Bible speaks of the body, soul and spirit of man.  Some say “soul” and “spirit” are interchangeable, simply two different ways of saying the same thing.  Others believe the spirit is that aspect of human nature that relates to God (and is actually dead before regeneration) and the soul is made up of mind, will and emotions.  Other Bible words, such as “heart” are said to equate the soul or one of its components or else, the spirit.  The confusion is obvious; the solution, not so obvious.  But few, if any, Christians actually believe that we are made up of two or three separate and unrelated compartments.  When you are out of sorts spiritually, your emotions and your physical health can be adversely affected.  When your body is ill, it can make you sad.  And it can damage your spiritual health. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it can, and if you are honest, you’ll admit it often does.

For those of you who experience depression, what aspect of your nature is affected?  Or maybe I should say what part of you is not touched?  Are not your emotions in the toilet?  Is your thinking sometimes upside down?  Do you sometimes have an inability to act, to make decisions?  An inability that could be described as a paralysis of the will?  Isn’t your body also depressed?  A human being is a marvelous and unusual creature, fearfully and wonderfully made.  The aspects of our nature are integrated, interrelated. Sadness can make you sick.  Pain can make you depressed.  Either can affect your spiritual health.

Apparently, this subject has touched a nerve, a nerve that is very close to the surface of a large percentage of professing believers in Jesus Christ.  Perhaps I should say, genuine believers.  I’ve received significant response from the first article.  And, as I told one person, I haven’t even gotten into the heavy stuff yet.  I’ve just grazed the surface of “plain-vanilla depression.”  The kind you go to a doctor for.  Before we move on to deeper, darker waters, let me add a note to the last article.  Recent research has indicated that a placebo—sugar pill can be as effective as an antidepressant.  And it seems the more expensive the placebo, the better it works!  The human mind is a strange thing, is it not?  Take that for what it’s worth.  I still encourage you to talk to your doctor.

From the Womb to the Tomb
Decades ago, there was a TV commercial promoting medicine for a summer cold.  It was kind of dumb.  A family was picnicking (how DO you spell that?) under a tree, the sky blue, the weather perfect.  Then a strange looking creature comes down the hill, crashing the party.  She was a germ. (If I want to remember her as female, it’s my article!)  The equally dumb little song said, “ A summer cold is a different animal.”  Terri will say, “How can you remember that when you can’t remember the grandkids’ birthdays?”  That is the subject for a different article.

Spiritual Depression is a different animal.  It is a cousin to the critter we have been describing.  The two can overlap, can sleep under the same person’s bed at the same time and can promote one another.  But make no mistake, Spiritual Depression is a monster, a different, more hideous animal.

Jonah was depressed because he didn’t get his way, Jeremiah because he felt deceived by God, Elijah because of fear and exhaustion, Peter because he denied Christ, Spurgeon because of gout, William Cowper, poet of the The Great Awakening (There is a Fountain Filled With Blood, God Moves in a Mysterious Way) because of mental illness, Job because of excruciating loss.  All of these experienced ‘simple’ depression, long before a pill was invented for it.  Some also experienced Spiritual Depression.  Job wished that he had been carried directly from the womb to the grave.  “It would have been better…”  You may not want to die, you just don’t care any longer if you live.  Or you may feel that you already have.  Died, that is.

The Dark Night of the Soul
What do I mean by Spiritual Depression?  It is sometimes referred to as ‘Desertion.’  God has abandoned you.  Perhaps you have given up all hope of life ever being different.  Remember, although it was a prophecy of the darkest moment of eternity, the inexplicable cry, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”  was first uttered by a mere human.  It was the real experience of King David.  Please take a moment and read Psalm 88, an expression of the heart of one called Heman.  But he was no He Man, no super hero.  He was real, and honest.  This is the only Psalm with no resolution, no happy ending, no hope. 

You’re all I want; You’re all I’ve ever needed.
You’re all I want; Help me know You are near.

 But sometimes God is silent.  We ask, whine, beg, plead, self-examine, look for unconfessed sin, confess the same sins over and over.  And God says nothing.  It MAY not be your fault.  It may be God’s ‘fault.’  The Father seems to contradict His Word, His promises, Himself.  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  And yet, He has abandoned you.  At least it feels like it.  Doesn’t it?

NEXT TIME:   WHY?

In the love of Christ, the question of which was settled once and for all, at the Cross,

Dan

A Broken Hallelujah (Part I in a Series of Articles on Depression)

Posted on by February 5, 2009

Permit me to do something for you. I want to write something (2 or 3 articles) that may be of personal benefit to some of you.  It’s been called the common cold of the soul—DEPRESSION.  It is the most common illness seen in all of medicine.  That’s right, I said, ‘medicine.’  It is a disease, one that affects normal and, otherwise, healthy people.  People  with no psychiatric problems, genuinely spiritual people, people with no circumstantial reason to be down, can suffer from depression.

I’m not talking about occasionally getting the blues.  And certainly, situations can occur that grieve us.  Depression is deeper, longer lasting.  You may feel tired all the time; you may not be able to sleep, or you may want to sleep all the time; you can be very irritable; you may have a nagging headache that just seems to hang on; you may have other chronic pains; your sex drive may be diminished; you may lack enthusiasm for much of anything; you just don’t enjoy the things you used to; you often have digestive problems; you can’t seem to concentrate, follow through or finish anything you start; you often feel worthless, unwanted, misunderstood, even guilty; you may find yourself crying for no apparent reason; you may feel numb, empty, dead inside, unable to cry or even to feel; you feel at times, overwhelming sadness washing over you like a wave; you may want to die.

If you have never experienced depression, consider yourself very blessed.  I can almost guarantee someone in your circle suffers.

Christians are not exempt.

One of the worst things you can say to someone suffering depression is, “Don’t be depressed,” as if they could do something about it.  That’s like saying, “Don’t have cancer.”  Even worse would be to say, “Snap out of it!”  But the most insensitive is, “Well, you just need to get right with God!”

In fact, any well-meaning advice, solicited or not, that begins with, “Well, you just need to…” is usually worth about as much as the thought that went into it, not much at all.  “Well, you just need to…learn to praise the Lord anyway…read your Bible more…take some Metamucil…get drunk!”

Some of these may actually be good advice, just not timely. (I’ve never known booze and depression to mix well.)  Even otherwise appropriate Scriptures can become religious clichés or pious platitudes if offered flippantly, smugly or with little thought—not the Word of God itself, just our casual dispensing of it.
Now, prayer, praise, confession, reading the Bible aloud, singing or listening to worship music, walking, doing something for someone else, watching something that is a guaranteed laugh (Three Stooges, Ma and Pa Kettle, whatever your cultural level of humor,)  all of these are sincerely recommended possibilities.
But remember, I’m not talking about a little, emotional slump. Clinical depression is a medical condition.  There is no more guilt or shame in that than in having the flu or a toothache.  The only medical advice I’ll presume to hand out is, “See a doctor.”  It’s OK!  This kind of depression does not mean you are a failure as a Christian.  No condemnation!

My son wanted me to listen to a song on YouTube the other day.  Four guys from Norway, known as “Guitarbuddies,” are singing “Hallelujah.”  It’s not necessarily a Christian song; it was written by Leonard Cohen, who I believe is Jewish.  It’s based on the story of David and Bathsheba.  A haunting line arrested my attention:

It’s not a cry you can hear at night;
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light;
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.

We are not yet around the throne, perfected, singing a new song to the Lamb.  Sometimes our hallelujahs are cold; sometimes they are broken.  It will not always be so.

But there is hope for now.  To risk a cliché, Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.  He is not limited to human means, but sometimes the Great Physician uses your local M.D.

Next time:  A Different Animal: Spiritual Depression

In the peace of Christ,

Dan Grindstaff
I would value your personal insight or experience on this subject.

A Diary of Chiapas

Posted on by November 20, 2008

(Oct-Nov ’08)

Almost the first thing I said to Eufemio Bonafaz Lopez, after six hours in the air and/or airports and three hours up a winding road to Simojovel, Chiapas, was, “My Spanish is limited. One day I hope to preach in Spanish, but I’m not yet able.” That was Saturday night. During the Sunday morning service in what would look like a good size hay barn, with about 150 in attendance, Eufemio, a Tzotzil Indian and pastor of the church, said, “Brother Dan is going to come preach now!” My response was deeply spiritual. “Yo? En espanol?” (Me? In Spanish?) He just smiled. So I did. Understand, no one there could speak English. Before I got on the plane to come home, I had preach 8 times all over those mountains.

This pastor has started over 30 missions. He trains pastors. My first week there, he had a training institute. I preached to the students. Every day, several times a day, they had a prayer time. One stands out. They all knelt on the concrete floor. I eventually had to sit. Each prayed for 5-10 minutes a piece, some in Spanish, some in the Tzotzil dialect, one in English. Then we stood and read in unison Deuteronomy 28-29, 97 verses. Try that in Sunday School! The Scripture reminded me of the current conditions in the U.S. I shared the poor spiritual condition of our churches back home and how I felt Chritians here in America will one day face persecution. The pastor said, “Ojala!” (I hope so!) Everyone stood and prayed again. The pastor led in prayer. They all poured out their hearts for America. I wept.

They are praying faithfully for the persecuted church in China and India. Some wear a bracelet that says in English, “Pray for China.”

Some were very hard to follow. They would switch back and forth, almost imperceptibly between Tzotzil and Spanish. I thought I had lost what Spanish I had. It took me a couple of days to figure out what was going on. At first, they had difficulty understanding my Spanish.

On another day they prayed around the room on their knees for an hour. I just remained seated. I’m an American. They have calluses on their knees.

A sign on a Catholic church, “No estoy aqui. Estoy en cielo con mi madre.” ("I’m not here. I’m in Heaven with my Mother.”)

On October 31, Halloween in the U.S., Day of the Dead in Mexico, Reformation Day, we organized a church. Then they installed a pastor, electing deacons (3 men, 2 women-a first for me,) a treasurer, a secretary and an assistant pastor. I preached, as usual with little or no warning. The 15 members of this new church knelt and the rest of us circled them and prayed. We sang, “Unidos en su nombre.” (United in Your Name.) Benjamin, the pastor, was in the Training Institute.

I preached in Huitipan twice on Sunday. Visited in afternoon. A teenage boy was saved next door to the church. Day of the Dead celebration still going on. Drunks in the streets. Smell of marijuana. I was told 80-90% of the men in that village have a drinking problem. That means, of course, the women and children have other problems as a result.

Visited a young family, two precious children. Husband a new believer, still struggling with alcohol. Wife a Catholic.

Visited Jesus and wife Maria Elena. He is committing adultery with a witch, who must have some kind of power over him. His wife was saved; he sat with his head down the whole time weeping, but would not repent.

Handed out 600 Gospels of John door to door. Preached in small hut, the front door at ground level, the back, where I stood, on stilts on the side of hill.

Went 2 hours further UP into mountains on winding paved road, another hour on winding dirt road, then on foot up a wagon trail, then up a goat trail to a small, low ceiling shed (the indigenous people are very short). The dirt floor and the low rough-hewn plank benches were cushioned with pine needles. Looked like a perfect place for a manger scene. 25 people. Accordion, 2 guitars and a bass. Preached in Spanish, which doesn’t even qualify as a second language for me, Eufemio, whose native tongue is Tzotsil, translated my Spanish (a second language for him) into Tzeltal (a third language.)

Drove another hour and a half. Preached in Spanish with the local pastor translating into his dialect. Slept on church benches. Drank more coffee in 15 days than I have in 5 decades. Ate enough cabbage soup to last until next time.

Prayed for young teenage girl on her death bed. Sexually transmitted disease.

The most beautiful country I’ve ever seen in my life.

Thank you for sending me. Thank you for sustaining us in prayer and in financial support.

Pray for Revival and the persecuted Church around the world,

Dan Grindstaff